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Blants (noun) the rants of a blogger

  1. Amazon Driver Stole My iPad Pro

    June 23, 2019 by The Man

    Once upon a time the hero of this story ordered an iPad Pro from Amazon and with Prime should have been delivered on Saturday…. but it never arrived.

    Ok this is a cautionary tale of ordering expensive items from Amazon, despite being in all day to receive the parcel it was still stolen and you have to deal with the fallout – so how did this happen ?

    Saturday morning I get an email telling me the parcel was on it’s way and would be delivered that day. Once your delivery driver gets within 8 or so stops away you get a map with their location so you can see where they are and the great thing is the map updates (mostly) in real time. So my delivery driver is 1 drop away so I go and stand by the door ready for him to just hand me the parcels. Now it’s a Saturday so not many cars on the road and I see his white van drive by. 30 seconds later he still isn’t walking down the drive so I pop up to see where he is and he’s not there so I go back to the laptop and see he’s delivering to a side street so back to the door as he’ll probably catch me on the way back. A minute later he drives past without stopping but his indicator is on so I’m guessing he’s parking up the road and will walk back to me so I walk up to the road and see the van driving off. Cue the swear words and back to the laptop to see “Delivery Attempted” oh fucking no it wasn’t.

    This was a lie

    What you might not know is that if you complain to the right person it is possible for Amazon to re-deliver BUT you need an agent that will request this from the local “station”.

    So my expectations were low. I wasn’t expecting the delivery driver to bother but I was home anyway so if it arrived ok. I checked the site around 5pm and it was just saying the same missed delivery bullshit. Fed the dogs at 6pm and made a nice jerk chicken salad and then sat down to watch Season 3 of The Grand Tour, just by chance I refreshed the delivery page on the laptop. To my surprise it was now saying delivered – woohoo. Although why didn’t he call my cell phone and where has he delivered to ?

    No it fucking wasn't

    Opening the front door I see a delivery note saying “2 parcels behind wheelie bin” but looking out there is only one. Fuck. So the little shit has once again lied and pretended to drop two packages but only delivering one.

    Back on to chat and three agents later Amazon finally say they will investigate the theft and report back in 24 hours. Of course what Amazon meant by that is we’ll do fuck all in the first 24 hours and then when you come back to us we’ll ask for a further 72 hours while we hold on to your money for goods never delivered.

    So Sunday night I’m chatting with some call centre girl in India who has no clue about the case, doesn’t understand what a GDPR request is so fobs me off with a 72 hours and we’ll investigate we promise and the GDPR team will get back to you in 24 hours. Let’s see shall we.